THE VISION
I documented my breakdown.
Now I’m documenting my rebuild.
For years I shared the hard parts in public — the spontaneous Kundalini awakening I never asked for, the depression that followed it, the RV, the financial collapse, the ways I lost myself trying to save someone else. I didn’t do it for content. I did it because radical honesty is the only way I know how to live.
Now I’m building the next chapter in public too. This is the uncomfortable middle. Limited money. A living situation that’s temporary. A website, a shop, a book, and a sense of self, all being rebuilt one decision at a time, while it’s still messy.
This is Rebuilding Courtney.
Why this is happening in public
Watching someone rebuild honestly gives other people permission to begin rebuilding too. That’s the whole reason.
This project encourages builders — people ready to create their own next chapter. I’m building my own blueprint in real time, out loud: here’s what happened to me, here’s what I tried, here’s what helped, here’s what didn’t. Take what’s useful. Build your own.
The Plan
This grows into something bigger than content — a loose network of creators, collaborators, and builders supporting each other, the way mycelium spreads: connected, with strength moving outward through every person in it. People learning skills, getting paid, growing enough to hire the next person, and passing opportunity forward.
Physical land comes next — open sky, a place to build, gather, film, garden, and create. A place where people stay for a season while they build the next phase of their own life. The phrase that defines it: peace without abandonment. Space that still holds connection. Someone always notices if you’re not okay.
Two damaged hard drives hold years of raw footage — therapy, psilocybin work, the awakening, the dark night, real life as it happened, not reconstructed afterward. It’s some of the most valuable material I own, and recovering it is one of the first milestones of this plan.
What this becomes
A living, breathing mission that grows people. A life honest enough that it gives other people permission to build theirs. Relationships built on real contribution and real trust.
This is how I spread love.
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