I really want to start doing lives, but when I’m down, it’s the last thing I want to do. So, here’s a catch-up-with-my-life video—and for those looking at me with judgement, we’ll just call it: Why is Courtney so Crazy?

Spirituality isn’t all love and light and nonsense. An awakening journey is complex as hell. Most people will never understand you, and that’s okay, because every single one of our paths is unique, designed specifically for the lessons we need. You’re here to innerstand yourself. I know that.

My life changed abruptly when I experienced what I call a spontaneous Kundalini Awakening. I didn’t choose it, and I couldn’t stop it—it chose me.

I share because others are going through it too, and it’s the most intense thing you’ll ever experience. And you’re going to do it alone. That’s all part of it.

If you’re going through it, here’s some things I have learned:

Eventually, every soul will have some kind of awakening in their lifetime. And when it happens, it’ll most likely feel terrifying and isolating and the most insanely horrible, beautiful, most profound wretched thing you will ever experience.

You’re going to feel unbalanced and unstable until you learn to balance the energy, the frequencies. You’re going to transmute that shit for everyone and everything around you. Your entire nervous system goes through an extensive upgrade, and it’s intense.

You’ll reach out for support, and no one will be there. It’ll be the darkest, hardest period of your life. And in those moments, you’ll just want someone to reassure you that you’re not fucking crazy. And the ONLY person that will do that for YOU is YOU. So you’re going to research and go down rabbit holes and get downloads and it’s wild.

You’re dying ego brain is going to act up. That’s hard. All that negative self-talk. Then you’re going to realize something fun called multi-level awareness or multi-dimensional consciousness. And that’s when you realize that you’re not just your thoughts or your mood swings or your trauma—you’re the one observing all of it. You’re the Soul behind the scenes. The eternal you. And you start to see the ego’s drama as just one channel. And you remember you can change the station.

You’ll find the people, tools, and resources you need online, because nobody around you will have ever experienced what you’re going through. Organized religious people might even believe you’re evil or dark, but that’s all part of it too, I suppose.

Then you’ll start falling down rabbit holes. You’ll start finding the truth everywhere. And then—oh fuck—and then? No one wants to be around you anymore. Because you’re not like them anymore. You’ve become a mirror. And nobody likes that shit. Nobody wants to FEEL any emotion, and that’s really the whole thing about healing. It’s feeling the emotion and letting it go. But instead, society makes you believe NOT FEELING is good, so we walk around medicated and numb. But that shit ain’t right at all. It just makes you numb. And numb people are compliant people. And that’s sort of the goal, as the way I see it.

A lot of people want distractions—porn, beer, fart jokes, and politics. Anything to keep them away from the innerstanding necessary. They’ll think you’re crazy. But you’re not. You’ll think they’re crazy. And you’re not wrong.

Kundalini burns away everything that doesn’t serve your soul. If it picks you, there’s nothing you can do to stop it.

Eventually, you’ll find my videos or someone else’s that resonates—and you’ll learn about energy, and sovereignty, and not giving your power away. You’ll remember what self-love actually means. And that will be a beautiful turning point, because from that moment on, you’ll never let anyone label you with something that isn’t true. And that is my goal. Changing the world starts with one soul at a time. One healed soul affects everyone around them.

I share because I’m going to do good shit for the rest of my existence. And if you can’t see that? That’s not my problem.

I also share because I could use help. Exposure. Support. And new friends who actually want to make the world a better place. ✌🏻

If you don’t see that I’m going to do good shit for the rest of my existence, that’s not my problem. ✌🏻